Formal Email
Last updated on October 15th, 2019
Subject: Self-Introduction
Dear Professor Brad
My name is Amanda Soh Jing Wen, a first-year student studying Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (Building Services). Currently, I am in one of your classes, SIE 2016 - T6. And today I am writing this email to formally introduce myself to you.
I graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a diploma in Integrated Facility Management. It is a course that equipped students with the knowledge and skills-sets that is necessary to manage a wide range of facilities - integrated resorts, hotels, shopping complexes and residences. To deepen my knowledge in this area, I have chosen to study Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering. Which also focuses more on the engineering disciplines, includes mechanical and electrical engineering, that are important building services industries in Singapore.
Having been working at various part-time jobs for a few years, I have garnered numerous compliments for being a good listener. I am capable of being attentive to their speech and was able to provide solutions to their problems. Another strength of mine is that I am good at carrying conversations with my peers or with customers.
However, as I have been weak in the English language since young, I often faced difficulties expressing content accurately. I have been pointed out by my teachers or tutors often for my language errors and was encouraged numerous times to further improve myself.
At the end of this module, I hope to achieve better skills in my written and oral communication skills. To be more fluent in academic essay writing, technical report writing, reflective writing and oral. A significant improvement to achieve in my English language.
Best Regards,
Subject: Self-Introduction
Dear Professor Brad
My name is Amanda Soh Jing Wen, a first-year student studying Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering (Building Services). Currently, I am in one of your classes, SIE 2016 - T6. And today I am writing this email to formally introduce myself to you.
I graduated from Temasek Polytechnic with a diploma in Integrated Facility Management. It is a course that equipped students with the knowledge and skills-sets that is necessary to manage a wide range of facilities - integrated resorts, hotels, shopping complexes and residences. To deepen my knowledge in this area, I have chosen to study Sustainable Infrastructure Engineering. Which also focuses more on the engineering disciplines, includes mechanical and electrical engineering, that are important building services industries in Singapore.
Having been working at various part-time jobs for a few years, I have garnered numerous compliments for being a good listener. I am capable of being attentive to their speech and was able to provide solutions to their problems. Another strength of mine is that I am good at carrying conversations with my peers or with customers.
However, as I have been weak in the English language since young, I often faced difficulties expressing content accurately. I have been pointed out by my teachers or tutors often for my language errors and was encouraged numerous times to further improve myself.
At the end of this module, I hope to achieve better skills in my written and oral communication skills. To be more fluent in academic essay writing, technical report writing, reflective writing and oral. A significant improvement to achieve in my English language.
Best Regards,
Amanda Soh
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Amanda,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this clear, concise and yet fairly complete self introduction. You've followed the model presented in class quite closely and produced a letter that addresses all the task requirements with a bit of detail. I appreciate the explanation of your strengths and weaknesses in communication, and it is good to know that you have work experience and have been quite successful in terms of interpersonal communication. At the same time, I would have liked to know more about the genesis of your interest in the field of facilities management.
You do state that you'd like to improve your writing. In terms of specific language use, you need to review the following:
1. Sentence structure
-- To be more fluent in academic essay writing, technical report writing, reflective writing, oral presentation. And a significant improvement in my English language. > (each of these are sentence fragments) ?
-- Which also focuses more on the engineering disciplines that are important building services industries in Singapore. > (fragment) ?
2. verb tense
-- However, as I was weak in the English language since young, I often faced difficulties ... >
However, as I have been weak in the English language since young, I often face difficulties...
I look forward to learning more about you this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Hi Prof, thank you for your feedback!
DeleteI have made the necessary adjustments and if there is still improvement to be made do let me know.
Hi Amanda, very good content overall and the organisation of the email was perfect. Each of the paragraphs were not too lengthy and it is of perfect for the readers to read. A few grammar mistakes pointed out by Prof Brad so perhaps you could work on that and improve in the future assignments.
ReplyDeleteCheers :)
Hi Gerald, thanks for your comment! I have already revised those highlighted mistakes by professor. Do point out to me if there are still mistakes that was not rectified.
DeleteHi Amanda!
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading the contents of your letter, and I must agree with your strength on being good at carrying conversations, in class I always felt like I could talk to you with ease.
However, some parts of your letter could be further elaborated such as what has led you to choose this course or your areas of interest. Also, in your last paragraph it could be more concise and less repetitive. For example, “At the end of this module, I hope to be better in my written and oral communication, which will significantly improve my English language.”
Overall, I hope that you would reach your goal and improve on your overall English!
Hi Sarah! I have already made adjustment to the mistake you have listed. Thank you so much for your feedback!
Delete